When my husband and I got married in 2006, we did the “smart” thing at that time and purchased our first home. It was a modest little townhouse, cute and in a good location – the perfect starter home. It was “smart” because we were no longer throwing our money away renting. We were investing in something, or so we thought, and we planned on staying for a few years and then moving on. Well, then the housing market went down the drain and we had bought our home at the worst possible time, at the height of the market. Now we were stuck. This wasn’t so bad at the time – we could live with it. Even as we had our second child and started feeling a little crowded, we knew that we were lucky to be able to pay our mortgage when many people were struggling to even do that. But then, we got new neighbors. New, awful, inconsiderate in so many ways, noisy-at-all-hours neighbors. It got ugly. We had to call the police on them on a few occasions since the numerous “talks” we tried to have with them were getting us nowhere. We felt like prisoners in our own home.
On top of this situation, we weren’t even sure we wanted to stay in Atlanta. Because we had always thought in the back of our minds that we would leave Atlanta before our kids started school, we never planted roots and “connected.” We hadn’t planned on staying long, so we didn’t make an effort to make friends or get involved in the community. We wasted a lot of time, which I regret now. I ended up feeling totally isolated, and it was really my own fault. I have no family here in Atlanta, and I really didn’t have friends here either. So I was home with two children, isolated with no friends, in a home we hated, and I had lost my identity. I was “Mommy” 100% of the time, and no longer Erin. I was going crazy. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more important to me than being a mom. I love my children more than anything on earth. But I felt unfulfilled and like I had lost myself. I had no outlet and I rarely got to take a break. We didn’t even have a babysitter!
I started praying – a lot. I prayed for us to find happiness and find a way out of our home, and that if we couldn’t do that, that we would find contentment there. I prayed for God to help us figure out where we were supposed to plant our roots, whether it be Atlanta or somewhere else, and to help us find the means to do that. I knew that it would require us to take a risk somehow or another, and I prayed for the courage to do that. I also prayed for emotional fulfillment and the ability to balance being a mom with being my own person. Over the past year, every single one of those prayers have been answered, and I am in awe.
I decided to take a leap of faith last Fall and I joined MOPS. I decided since we were stuck here in Atlanta, I needed to start making the best of it until we found a way out, so I would try to meet some people. It would also give the kids an opportunity to socialize – they had been in activities like Gymboree and Sports class stuff, but hadn’t really made any actual “friends.” This decision changed my life. I met so many amazing people at MOPS, and I am so thankful that this little decision got the ball rolling and led to other changes in my family’s life. My kids met some friends to play with too. I had an outlet every other week where I could sit with other moms (without the kids!) and just talk. We could vent, and talk about mom things, and just get out of the house and breathe!
Not long after I joined MOPS, my husband and I sat down several times to discuss our options regarding the house and where we wanted to end up. We knew we had to make a decision soon since it wouldn’t be long before our son would start school, and we wanted to figure out where we would be at that point. We decided that our best and only option would be to rent out our townhouse since selling would force us to take a financial hit that we just couldn’t afford, and we would rent a home of our own with a long-term lease and the intention (but no obligation) to possibly buy it later. We wanted to get the hang of being landlords first and figure out if we wanted to stay here in Atlanta or not. With the support and help of loved ones, we were able to do this.
By wintertime, we had gotten connected and made friends, joined a playgroup, found a babysitter (!!!) and moved into a home that we love. Atlanta feels like home now. Even just having a yard for our kids to play in is something that has brought tears to my eyes. It’s amazing the things we can take for granted sometimes. I was, and still am, amazed and so thankful. Finances have been tight, and we have even discussed the possibility of me having to go back to work. I knew that I needed to find a way to contribute financially, but I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving my boys. We aren’t poor by any means, but we definitely have to stick to a strict budget. It’s doable, but another income would certainly help. So, I prayed. I prayed that God would help me find a way to make money without having to leave my boys. I had considered babysitting a few children at my home, but then I wouldn’t have the flexibility I currently have or the ability to drive my son to preschool next year, or sports class, or MOPS, etc.
And then, in the middle of all of this, I fell in love with Pinterest and got inspired. I started to create and transform and write, and through serendipity, this blog was born. When I started writing, I had no idea that you could even make money blogging. And the truth is, it is difficult to and it takes a long time. I am making pennies right now, and that’s okay. I do this because I love it, and with the hopes that it will eventually turn into an opportunity that will allow me to contribute a little income to the family while also being able to stay home with my children and do what I love. The funny thing is, I studied Telecommunications and Journalism in college. If you put those two together, you basically get a blog. That wasn’t my intention back then, in fact I don’t think I even knew what a blog was back then. But it’s almost as if this is what I was unintentionally setting myself up to do. I am using every bit of knowledge I acquired back then, and I never thought I’d use any of it. (My original plan was TV/Radio ad sales. My “focus” within my major was sales and promotions. Guess what I’ve had to do a ton of with this blog? Promoting!)
So when I shared this story (or a rambling, shortened version of it) with my MOPS group, I started crying. The embarrassing, trying to talk through tears kind of cry. I cried because I am in awe and just so very thankful. I am thankful to God, to my family and friends, and to you for reading this.
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| Britney Spears Ugly Cry. (Source) |
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