When my husband and I got married in 2006, we did the “smart” thing at that time and purchased our first home. It was a modest little townhouse, cute and in a good location – the perfect starter home. It was “smart” because we were no longer throwing our money away renting. We were investing in something, or so we thought, and we planned on staying for a few years and then moving on. Well, then the housing market went down the drain and we had bought our home at the worst possible time, at the height of the market. Now we were stuck. This wasn’t so bad at the time – we could live with it. Even as we had our second child and started feeling a little crowded, we knew that we were lucky to be able to pay our mortgage when many people were struggling to even do that. But then, we got new neighbors. New, awful, inconsiderate in so many ways, noisy-at-all-hours neighbors. It got ugly. We had to call the police on them on a few occasions since the numerous “talks” we tried to have with them were getting us nowhere. We felt like prisoners in our own home.
On top of this situation, we weren’t even sure we wanted to stay in Atlanta. Because we had always thought in the back of our minds that we would leave Atlanta before our kids started school, we never planted roots and “connected.” We hadn’t planned on staying long, so we didn’t make an effort to make friends or get involved in the community. We wasted a lot of time, which I regret now. I ended up feeling totally isolated, and it was really my own fault. I have no family here in Atlanta, and I really didn’t have friends here either. So I was home with two children, isolated with no friends, in a home we hated, and I had lost my identity. I was “Mommy” 100% of the time, and no longer Erin. I was going crazy. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more important to me than being a mom. I love my children more than anything on earth. But I felt unfulfilled and like I had lost myself. I had no outlet and I rarely got to take a break. We didn’t even have a babysitter!
I started praying – a lot. I prayed for us to find happiness and find a way out of our home, and that if we couldn’t do that, that we would find contentment there. I prayed for God to help us figure out where we were supposed to plant our roots, whether it be Atlanta or somewhere else, and to help us find the means to do that. I knew that it would require us to take a risk somehow or another, and I prayed for the courage to do that. I also prayed for emotional fulfillment and the ability to balance being a mom with being my own person. Over the past year, every single one of those prayers have been answered, and I am in awe.
I decided to take a leap of faith last Fall and I joined MOPS. I decided since we were stuck here in Atlanta, I needed to start making the best of it until we found a way out, so I would try to meet some people. It would also give the kids an opportunity to socialize – they had been in activities like Gymboree and Sports class stuff, but hadn’t really made any actual “friends.” This decision changed my life. I met so many amazing people at MOPS, and I am so thankful that this little decision got the ball rolling and led to other changes in my family’s life. My kids met some friends to play with too. I had an outlet every other week where I could sit with other moms (without the kids!) and just talk. We could vent, and talk about mom things, and just get out of the house and breathe!
Not long after I joined MOPS, my husband and I sat down several times to discuss our options regarding the house and where we wanted to end up. We knew we had to make a decision soon since it wouldn’t be long before our son would start school, and we wanted to figure out where we would be at that point. We decided that our best and only option would be to rent out our townhouse since selling would force us to take a financial hit that we just couldn’t afford, and we would rent a home of our own with a long-term lease and the intention (but no obligation) to possibly buy it later. We wanted to get the hang of being landlords first and figure out if we wanted to stay here in Atlanta or not. With the support and help of loved ones, we were able to do this.
By wintertime, we had gotten connected and made friends, joined a playgroup, found a babysitter (!!!) and moved into a home that we love. Atlanta feels like home now. Even just having a yard for our kids to play in is something that has brought tears to my eyes. It’s amazing the things we can take for granted sometimes. I was, and still am, amazed and so thankful. Finances have been tight, and we have even discussed the possibility of me having to go back to work. I knew that I needed to find a way to contribute financially, but I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving my boys. We aren’t poor by any means, but we definitely have to stick to a strict budget. It’s doable, but another income would certainly help. So, I prayed. I prayed that God would help me find a way to make money without having to leave my boys. I had considered babysitting a few children at my home, but then I wouldn’t have the flexibility I currently have or the ability to drive my son to preschool next year, or sports class, or MOPS, etc.
And then, in the middle of all of this, I fell in love with Pinterest and got inspired. I started to create and transform and write, and through serendipity, this blog was born. When I started writing, I had no idea that you could even make money blogging. And the truth is, it is difficult to and it takes a long time. I am making pennies right now, and that’s okay. I do this because I love it, and with the hopes that it will eventually turn into an opportunity that will allow me to contribute a little income to the family while also being able to stay home with my children and do what I love. The funny thing is, I studied Telecommunications and Journalism in college. If you put those two together, you basically get a blog. That wasn’t my intention back then, in fact I don’t think I even knew what a blog was back then. But it’s almost as if this is what I was unintentionally setting myself up to do. I am using every bit of knowledge I acquired back then, and I never thought I’d use any of it. (My original plan was TV/Radio ad sales. My “focus” within my major was sales and promotions. Guess what I’ve had to do a ton of with this blog? Promoting!)
So when I shared this story (or a rambling, shortened version of it) with my MOPS group, I started crying. The embarrassing, trying to talk through tears kind of cry. I cried because I am in awe and just so very thankful. I am thankful to God, to my family and friends, and to you for reading this.
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| Britney Spears Ugly Cry. (Source) |
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Erin you are beautiful. I am so glad that you wrote this post and I read all of it. You are an amazing writer and person. I am so happy for you that things are working out and you still have time for the boys. Keep having faith. Everything always works out better than you think, it just make time some time. Love your picture of Heidi Montag.
Thank you, Mandee. You almost made me ugly-cry again. 🙂 I appreciate your kind words more than you know.
Thank you Erin for opening up your heart to us. Blogging is a vulnerable trade, with risks of ridicule and rewards of praise. Keep writing with passion and produce awesome content and the followers and opportunities will fall in place in time. You are off to a wonderful start. And if you can’t ugly-cry at MOPS every now and then, then where can you?! 🙂
~ Kim @ Sand & Sisal
Thanks so much, Kim!
What a fabulous post! Sometimes it just takes one positive thing to get the ball rolling…looks like things are looking up! I am so glad you wrote this…so many of us have similar stories that we are hesitant to share. It’s so nice to hear the not so perfectness sometimes…it makes us human in a blog world filled with what feels like constant perfection! Love ya!
Jessica @ Mom 4 Real
Thanks so much for the kind words, Jessica!
I love your story and it is the main reason I love MOPS. It is so important for us stay at home moms to meet other moms to talk to, learn from, get inspired, and the list goes on and on.. I am so glad you joined our group it has been a big blessing for me to meet you as well and have a best buddy for Camden!
I totally agree! MOPS has provided so many things for us, including friendships for both myself and the kids. It has been wonderful! And of course Aiden loves his buddy. See you soon!
Erin, what a great story! Thanks so much for sharing. We have been trying to sell my husband’s house since we got married in 2006. 🙂 I know your frustrations, and it is comforting to know that others face the same challenges. I am so thankful that I, like you, have my faith in God to get me through times when I can’t see the end goal but just have to keep plugging along.
Thanks, Niki! I know that so many people can relate to the house situation, as so many people have been affected by the housing market. Good luck with selling the house – and know that things will get better! I have just had to accept that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand those reasons at the time. It will make sense someday. Talk to you soon!
Thanks for sharing your story Erin. I love to hear that your prayers are being answered. God is so faithful! I pray that your blog would continue to be a blessing to your family. 🙂
And congrats on all the exciting gigs!!
Thanks so much, Megan!
LOL! I wrote posts just like this: http://www.balancinghome.com/2012/02/waiting-for-someday.html and this http://www.balancinghome.com/2011/08/whatever-wednesday-following-my-passion.html. Seems we both fell into blogging and have found so much joy/purpose here. We too, bought our house at the height of the market and feel “stuck”. My dad pointed out, it is a pretty good place to be stuck.
Thanks, Megan! It’s so nice to connect with people who can relate, and I know that so many people can. We certainly have not been the only ones affected by this type of situation, and we know it could have definitely been worse. We are just appreciative of what we have, and glad to have found a solution to the issue for now. And you’re right, if you’re going to be stuck, it’s certainly better to be stuck with a home than without one. Very true. Thanks again!
So proud of you Erin! Brought tears to my eyes. I admire your strength and you should be proud of ERIN too! In faith, I find timing is everything..may not be when we want it but things fall into place when you need it.. Love you and so proud of my cousin!
Thank you, Cari! Love you too!
Hi! I’m new to your blog. I loved reading this post. I so appreciate what you had to share and that you allowed us into your heart. And congratulations on the opportunities that have come your way. That’s amazing!
I’m looking forward to following along.
Sharon @ mrs. hines class
You know, my therapist always tells me, “if you change the way you think, then you change the way you feel”. He is sooo right, (& awesome too, I might add). With our blended family of 5 kids,adult ADD, school, sports, & life, I find myself feeling the same way you did…a lot! I’m such a creative, artistic person, & I don’t have time for me to do those things; MY things. I feel like I have so much pent up inspiration, that I just may lose my mind; (good thing I have the awesome therapist). I agree, writing is a fabulous therapy, & talking is too. Just in case you didn’t notice, I have NOOO problems w/ telling anyone what is going on inside this noggin’, lol! I would love to find out more about how you started blogging. I love reading your blogs & tutorials!! I am an AVID thrifter-yard saler-junker-part time hoarder of things,(back to the therapist) :/ I have so many ideas and so many crap-tastic projects to do,out in the barn, but no time to do them… I would LOVE to hear your ideas & suggestions on the issues. Thanks for reading my comment/book. 🙂 Dawn
You know, my therapist always tells me, “if you change the way you think, then you change the way you feel”. He is sooo right, (& awesome too, I might add). With our blended family of 5 kids,adult ADD, school, sports, & life, I find myself feeling the same way you did…a lot! I’m such a creative, artistic person, & I don’t have time for me to do those things; MY things. I feel like I have so much pent up inspiration, that I just may lose my mind; (good thing I have the awesome therapist). I agree, writing is a fabulous therapy, & talking is too. Just in case you didn’t notice, I have NOOO problems w/ telling anyone what is going on inside this noggin’, lol! I would love to find out more about how you started blogging. I love reading your blogs & tutorials!! I am an AVID thrifter-yard saler-junker-part time hoarder of things,(back to the therapist) :/ I have so many ideas and so many crap-tastic projects to do,out in the barn, but no time to do them… I would LOVE to hear your ideas & suggestions on the issues. Thanks for reading my comment/book. 🙂 Dawn
Thanks so much for the comment! It’s definitely hard to balance my time, but you just have to prioritize and squeeze it in when you can. I do a lot of work during naptime, after kids are in bed, and on weekends. I have to make sacrifices (no more evening TV shows, or less sleep, for example) but it works somehow.
I got started blogging by accident – started it for family to see what we are doing to the house and grew from there. I’d be happy to answer questions – email DIYOntheCheapBlog at gmail if you’d like. Thanks again!